On hold with tech support. Muzak versions of Billy Joel tunes keep me company. It sounds like they’re using the steel drum setting on a cheap keyboard for the lead vocals. The song currently playing, “The Longest Time”, is sadly ironic.

This comes from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, via Ian. Grand stuff.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I’d like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven’t been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I’m sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but it wasn’t nice of us to point it out. If it’s any consolation, the fact that he’s a moron shouldn’t reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it’s not like you actually elected him.

I’m sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn’t give us the right to sell you lumber that’s cheaper and better than your own.

I’m sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I’m sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you’ve rebuilt it! It’s Very Nice.

I’m sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but we Feel your Pain.

I’m sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you’re going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I’m sorry that we’re constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you’re not upset over this.

We’ve seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

A lot of folks are talking about the new Blur album. I’m a little surprised at how little I care. Graham Coxon was the only thing that made them interesting to me, and now that he’s gone, I can imagine Damon’s ego will be running unchecked. Oh well.

Interesting – Ticketmaster (I ain’t linking to those bastards) are listing Arthur Lee and Love coming to Lee’s Palace on August 6. This is interesting because the last time Love tried to come up to Canada, they were blocked from entering the country on account of Lee’s criminal record. I wonder if they’ve sorted that out? I’d love to catch his show, either way. Last time he ended up in Buffalo instead of T.O. I’d make the drive, I think.

Update: – I’d originally said the apology bit was by Rick Mercer. It was actually done on This Hour Has 22 Minutes by Colin Mochrie. Um, sorry.

np – Wilco / Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Demos

Damned treacherous out there today. If you absolutely have to leave home, be careful.

Came out of St. Andrew Station this morning, and eastbound on King were eleven – count ’em ELEVEN – streetcars, lined up nose-to-ass into the horizon. Something to see, alright. It of course goes without saying that I had to wait 15 minutes for a westbound.

But here’s a little bit of news to bring a ray of pop-tastic sunshine into your day. Fountains Of Wayne will release Welcome Interstate Managers June 3 on S-Curve Records. Finally! Don’t believe me, go to their website and see for yourself. Go on. I’ll wait here.

New GBV on August 19th, titled Model Prisoner In The Five Senses Realm. Tracklisting available at Large-Hearted Boy.

np – Teenage Fanclub / Thirteen

Postal happiness by way of Phoenix. Robert sent me a stack of hippy-hippy shaking CD-Rs. We got a couple Wilco discs – the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Demos (21 tracks of unreleased YHF goodness! Some of it will probably be on the More Like The Moon EP coming out eventually, but whatever) and a double-disc live set from July 20, 2002. I’ll have to try and figure out exactly where the show is from. Also got Sigur Ros’ debut album, Von, and Gling Glo, a 1990 jazz album from Bjork. And on top of all this, I got the Posies comp I won on eBay. Lots of music. Yeah. I have to go and make faux-artwork for these babies. I have to make him a copy of The Olivia Tremor Control’s Black Foliage, which I will do, happily very soon.

All of this makes up a little for the fact that my guitar neck has been in the mail from Montana for two weeks now, which is about a week longer than it should have taken. We’re getting a little anxious. Or a lot anxious. The seller is going to go harrass the post office tomorrow, but I’m not sure how much recourse we have in this situation. Who loses packages in this day and age? I mean really.

HA! Idlewild finally have a Toronto date! April 18, Lee’s Palace with the French Kicks in tow. Damn, that’s going to be a busy week for me.

Word is the Dismemberment Plan farewell tour will have a Toronto stop sometime in June or July. A shame they’re leaving us, but it’ll be a helluva wake.

Jack Rabid’s year-end lists and musings are finally available on The Big Takeover website.

The LA Times is declaring it time for a shoegazing revival. Ha! And everyone said I was wasting my money on all those distortion pedals.

np – The Posies / Dream All Day – The Best Of The Posies

It would be nice, I think, to be able to come to work once in a while and NOT have my head hurt. Ow.

np – Gram Parsons / GP/Grievous Angel