This is the funniest blog ever.

Got to put the new axe through its paces tonight at rehearsal. Except for microphonics coming from the bridge which I’ll have to figure out how to eliminate, it was sounding pretty good. I think I could do the entire set with the one guitar, it’s got enough different tones in it. Very nice.

517 had to go back to work afterwards, so we headed out to the east end to drop him off. En route, we passed the Toronto headquarters of the Hell’s Angels. I had no preconceptions of how a Hell’s Angel headquarters should look, so I guess a nondescript white building with picnic tables stacked outside is as good a base of operations as any. But I think I had hoped it’d be something more… biker-y. Whatever that means.

Otherwise, slow day. Actually, very busy day, but not a very interesting one.

np – Versus / Lets Electrify!

Oh good, on top of the reissues of the three Rockville Uncle Tupelo albums by Legacy/Columbia, their major-label swansong Anodyne is also being expanded and remastered by Rhino and being released the same day. So instead of buying three albums I already have, I’ll be buying four.

So I’m still not making this entry from my new compter, but it’s not because I can’t. MDG did right by me by having a whole new box made up for me when I went in this afternoon. Everything worked fine in the store so I bring it home. I suspect the problem had to do with my plugging in my old keyboard, which may not be XP-compatible. I say this because as soon as I plugged this one in, the thing froze again. This time, however, it recovered on reboot with my new keybaord plugged in. Anyway, new box is puttering along downloading all sorts of illegal software. After I get everything installed, I still have to swap some hardware. I figure I should be ready to swap systems by the weekend – no rush.

Also in the ‘sorting shit out’ department, I finished wiring up the new Telecaster. Everything works as I want… as soon as I get the new neck, which is in the mail as I type, then the uber-axe will be all tricked up and ready to rock the casbah.

The Mark Gardener show is at Lee’s, April 12. That’s a Saturday night, so I expect it’ll be an early show so as to let the little Blow-Up kiddies get in there and do their thing by 11. Tickets are already available, $13 at Rotate This.

np – Beulah / When Your Heartstrings Break

So what do you do when you’re standing next to an absolutely stunning – but in a real and genuine sorta way – girl on a streetcar? If you’re me, you do and say nothing until you’re off the streetcar, smack yourself in the forehead for being such a chickenshit, rationalize it by telling yourself that she wouldn’t have talked to you anyway, and go about your business. And my life begins to make more sense to me.

And now for something completely different.

There will be a ‘showing’ of The Flaming Lips’ octophonic masterpiece, Zaireeka on February 28th at the Poor Alex Theatre in the Annex. Details here. Not familiar with the album? Read Wayne Coyne’s liner notes here. Thanks to Kyle for the tip. This is going to be so cool, I’ve listened to 3 discs at once before, but never the full four-pronged experience and certainly never on a decent sound system. I don’t do drugs, but if there were ever a night to start…

There is a bitch-slapping new X-Men 2 trailer online.

The Weakerthans have finally signed the long-rumoured deal with Epitaph. Their first release for the legendary punk label is Reconstruction Site, due out this summer. Full story here.

np – The Dismemberment Plan / Emergency & I

You know, despite the fact that I make my living with computers, and I spend most of my waking hours online, I actually hate computers. Sometimes with a passion that rivals the fiery pits of Hell.

So I *should* be making this entry off my shiny new computer. Which, incidentally is sitting in the living room. So why am I sitting in here, on this old box? Well because the other one DOESN’T WORK. Perhaps I should be more specific. Windows XP requires that it be ‘activated’ online or whatever. Fine, there’s a verification number on a sticker atop the CPU that I am supposed to punch into the dialog box. Which I would do, if I could. But I can’t, because the keyboard has stopped working. The mouse as well. What. The. Fuck. After some futzing, I find that they function if I plug into the USB ports, but the PS2 ports don’t work. Or they do for a split second when Windows is loading, but then they’re dead like dinner. But back to the verification number – now that I found a way to actually input data into my computer, I can give that a shot. Of course, it doesn’t work. Try again. Doesn’t work. It’s telling me the number has been used too many times and I need a new one. Okay…

One terse phone call to MDG later, I am going to be bringing the box back in tomorrow for a full rebuild. The ‘tech guy’ didn’t have anything more to offer besides, “That’s strange”. No shit, dipstick. Gnnnnrrrr. If this wasn’t good TV night, I’d be out on the streets looking to bust a cap on some sucka’s ass.

But the optical mouse works, and is shiny and pretty. The speakers are… well, I’ll give them some time for me to get used to, but my initial reaction is they’re shit. Two tiny satellites that’re all high end and one sub. Apparently Altec-Lansing has no conception of mid-range, or the acoustical importance thereof. And no headphone jack. I may end up saving up for a decent pair of speakers regardless. Maybe I can unload these on eBay or something. Fer fuck’s sake. The 19″ monitor is nice and big, at least. That’s something.

I hate technology.

Okay, some items that aren’t kvetching about computers…

Mark Gardener is bringing his solo acoustic show to Toronto on April 12th, venue still to be determined. About as close as you’ll get to seeing Ride short of going to an Oasis gig and yelling at monkeyboy Liam to let Andy sing.

The new Pernice Brothers long-player comes out May 20th, and is titled Yours, Mine And Ours. A US tour to follow in June. Hopefully they’re the sort who consider Canada part of the US and Toronto dates are in the offing.

np – Crowded House / Recurring Dream : The Very Best Of

I take one day off and the world just goes to pot.

For starters, the morning is going fine. Shower, make my lunch, eat breakfast, out the door in plenty of time. Trudge through the slush down to College station. Hmm, these closed and locked steel doors are new. Same thing at the north entrance. Okay, this is a bit of a problem. No westbound streetcars in sight, but behold – a shuttle bus with the words “SOUTHBOUND” in bright electronic letters on the front (take note, this will be important shortly). I hop on the bus with hordes of other commuters and off we go. North. ‘Hmm,’ thinks I, ‘this is odd. Well the sign did say southbound’. I verify this with the guy crammed in beside me, and so I wait and see. Northbound we continue. I’m now figuring the odds of this bus doing a three-point turn are pretty slim, so I force my way off the bus (elbows up!) and there I am, stuck at Yonge and Bloor (nowhere near my workplace at King and Spadina for non-Toronto readers), with no subway and all shuttle buses crammed to the gills. Looks like we’re walking. By the time I trudge back down to College (where it all began), and I’ve resisted the very strong temptation to just go home and sleep more, I find a vacant shuttle bus. Salvation! It gets me as far as King Station, and the streetcar, which is the only transit-related thing to go right so far this morning, gets me back on schedule. Or it would have, if it hadn’t overshot my stop by a half-block. Grand total lost time, 45 minutes. But I did get to listen to all my Superdrag album. Or I would have, if my batteries hadn’t died.

The trailer for League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen is up. It looks alright, though it’s hard to really tell with all the fast cuts. My main beef? “LXG” What the hell is that? Do we really need to dumb down everything to their basest monosyllabic components? I would have preferred it if they took a more appropriate Victorian approach instead of the flashy ultra-modern style, but what can you do.

Sleater-Kinney last night. Ass-kicking rock action. Nothing else to say, except Janet Weiss is my hero. So much rock with just two guitars and drums… I would lobby to kick 517 out of the band, if I wasn’t sure he’d be the first one to vote for it.

np – Beulah / The Coast Is Never Clear